生人霸死地 (Revised)

Very recently two of my friends broke up.
They had been together for 6 whole years.
I witnessed how they knew each other, how he fell for her, how he won her heart, how much they loved each other.. and how things gone worse...

She broke up with him one day, and he never expected that (well.. I would say men are usually too insensitive, even I was far away from them, I could sense that way before this happened)
One thing I didn't expect is, she has a new boyfriend soon after they broke up.
She told me that the new guy has been waiting for her for more than one year (or 2? I forgot already, not important)

He was totally lost, of course.
But one thing I think the girl did very good is that she gave him time to calm down and let go. She didn't ask "Can we be friends?"

I hate hypocrites. If you don't love him anymore, leave him alone.
If you found someone so much better than him, leave him alone, don't ask him to do this and do that for you anymore.

You thank him for helping you on your blog post, and in the next paragraph you wrote how sweet you are now with your new boyfriend. WTF is that? You must know he loved you or still loving you.

You said you will always be there for him, you will always be his friend. But you are hugging and kissing someone else at the same time. I will say "Shut the F. up and leave me alone" I were the guy.

Seriously, as a girl, I somehow understand the motive behind this. Of course it will be a perfect world to have 2 guys loving me at the same time and I am not cheating on anyone. But sorry if you are such kind of girl, I despise you. And I can surely tell that you'd never loved that guy before.

Or.. maybe just a new kind of "friendship" that I will never understand.

That's why I like what my girl friend did to her ex-bf, even though I didn't want them to break up. He is super depressed now but he still has us. I know one day he will let go as long as he doesn't get hurt from her anymore.

If this post is offending anyone, I won't be sorry coz I am just writing what I think.

I wrote a letter

I wrote a letter tonight.
A long letter.

A story

One day, a man and a woman met each other.
The next day, they never see each other again.
But somehow they know something in their lives has changed.
They did not waste time flirting, testing, guessing.
They even did not waste time on saying "I love you" "I miss you" etc.
Instead they started planning for marriage immediately.

Are they insane or what?

Thank you

I'm so glad to have your support.
I don't know when I can solve all the problems I have
but I know I'm strong because of you.
Thank you.

Happy Birthday to My Daddy

Happy birthday to my dear daddy~~~

the greatest father and husband in the world!

How can we break them?

How can we break all the barriers?
How can I tell who is you and who is not?
How can we get rid of all those troubles?
How many more do we need to get through?
Are you sure we can make it?
Are you sure you wanna make it?
How long do we need to wait?
Will it be forever?

Can anybody answer these questions?

A phone call

1:30a.m.
A man started walking alone in the bush.
Indeed he should be sleeping after trekking for the whole day.
But he kept walking...
An hour later, he was finally there..
A place where there is reception for his cellphone..
He called her.
He talked with her for less than 10 mins.
After that,
He had to walk for an hour to get back to his camp.

You and me

I suddenly notice that we are so far apart from each other.
There is no way to get back to the old good days.
I knew this will happen, and it indeed happened.
Interestingly, I'm not as sad as I thought I would have.
I guess I lost my heart.

Happy Birthday to You

Oh!! Just noticed that today is Sept 22.
It's my friend's birthday.

He's a friend that I've already lost contact with for quite a few years.
And he's not a very close friend of mine.
For some reasons.. I remember his birthday, every single year, when the day comes.
Although I never get a chance to say happy birthday to him.

This year, let me wish you a happy birthday here..
although I know you are not reading this...

I wish you are doing well.

Something about me, the stupid me..

I am a single lonely woman

When you become older, you know it's really hard for you to find three things: 1. true love, 2. true friendships, 3. true life.

I am never a person who can easily make friends with people. I've only got a few very close friends, because I'm very picky and people don't generally like to be close friend with me.

I am also not a person who can fell in love with strangers easily. But once I love, I just don't know how to stop.

I never have a life of my own. All these years, I've been living for people around me. I tried to do everything people wanted me to do. My purpose is to make everyone I love happy.

In the past few months, I was very lucky that someone came into my life and offered me a very valuable friendship. It was one of the greatest gifts I've ever got in my life. But I was too greedy, I expected something else. Although this dearest friend is still willing to offer me his friendship, I feel great shame at taking it already.

I was very stupid, as I always do for my past years. True friendship is such a rare thing to find these days and I just gave it up. What was I thinking?

When will I grow up and learn how to just treasure whatever I've got and never expect for more? When will I learn how to hold me feelings and emotions and make the life of the people around me easiler?

When will I stop upsetting people, especially those I care?

When...

End

Tonight is the end of this story.

Tomorrow, another story will start.

Just like last time.

I will be fine. I MUST be fine.

How can I not love you?

How Can I Not Love You Lyrics - Joy Enriquez

Cannot touch, cannot hold
Cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss
Cannot have each other

Must be strong, and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How do I not miss you when you are gone?

Cannot dream, Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave, and we must go on
Must not say what we've known all along
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How do I not miss you when you are gone?
How can I not love you?

Must be brave, and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've known all along
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all of the memories?
How do I not miss you when you are gone?

How can I not love you when you are gone?

It's over

22 August 2007. It's over.

Lovely Chinese old men

Please note that everything I'm going to talk about in this entry DOES NOT apply to the new generation Chinese guys. It only applies to Chinese men aged 50 or above.

Today (Tuesday) I've got a break from 12nn to 6pm, so I decided to go out of campus to have some sunbath. I took a bus and I saw an old Chinese man get on the bus with his wife.

I saw the man got on the bus first and quickly walked to the seats next to the exit door, he stood right next to the seat of the front row and looked back to his wife. His wife walked very slowly and she needed an umbrella to help her walk. When she almost reached seat, the old man pointed at the seat, (a human gesture telling her to sit there), waited until she sat down, then he sat down at the seat right behind her.

Here's the seatings of the bus.

Exit
1st row: 　A
2nd row: BC
3rd row: DE

so his wife was sitting at Seat A while the old man sat at Seat C. Seat B was occupied.

A while later, the person at Seat B got off the bus. The old man waited a while longer, used his hand to feel if Seat B was still "hot", then he moved himself to Seat B.

Then, he asked his wife to move and sit with him (i.e. Seat C)
How he did that?

He just ordered "Sit here", without a smile. The old lady gave him a big smile and went to sit with him.

You must be wondering why would I say this old man "lovely" while he is so rude to his wife..

But if you were there watching him, you will also love him. And in face, this is a common charaterisitc of the Chinese men in that generation.

I watched every movement of the old man. I would say he's shy rather then rude. I clearly remember that just after he ordered his wife "sit here", he gave all of us a quick look, and he looked a bit embarrassed. That one second, he was SUPER lovely!!

Old Chinese men are all like this! No matter how much he loves his wife, he will never show it in the public. On the other hand, he always wants to show his power over his wife. But to me, some of them don't really want to do so.. they just don't know what to do, they just think it's not right to show tenderness.. but in fact they love their wife very much and they care about their wife! If you look at the details, you will surely see what they did!

And I think they are much better than those guys who say "I love you" every five minutes, who will brust in tears for you when you just get hurt by a piece of paper. To me, these guys are just acting. Disgusting.

Of course, you will also hear Western men say "I love you" to their lovers all the time, but this is their culture. They say it when they mean it. And they are not acting! However, white guys are not my cup of tea.. hehe

I love Chinese old men. but I also wish my husband will still hold my hand when we are 90 years old!

sigh.. I wish I were 20-30 years older...

Sooooo sweet....

Not 100% agree to the caption of the 1st pic. But they are just so sweet!! What a man!

Another pic of the man.

Do you still remember...

Do you still remember all these?

Do you still remember A? the guy you had been together for more than 3 years? You almost died for him when you two broke up?
Do you still remember B? the guy you met before A, you two are still friends now, he's always nice to you, even you don't love each other anymore..
Do you still remember C? the guy who always take good care of you when u need him? you two become closer and closer to each other when time pass..
Do you still remember D? You've just known him for months. You two were once so closed to each other, he used to call u for lunch/dinner almost everyday. But what's happening now? Are you two getting away from each other already?
Do you still remember E? The one who has been besides you for all these years? When was the last time you give him a call?
Do you still remember F? The guy u met when u were still with B, who said he's going to marry you even before he saw you? The one you only go and see every several years when you wanna feel you are wanted by someone on earth?
Do you still remember G? The one who disappeared once u said u loved him?

Do you still remember all these?
Things change so fast.. how do you hold any of these?

PLEASE care about the people around you!!!

A 107-year-old woman suffering from flu hanged herself in her Yau Ma Tei (Hong Kong) home yesterday. Details here.

This old woman used to be a very healthy woman and she suffered from flu the past few days. She thought her life was going to end and DID express this feeling to her family that she wanna die! And as usual, her family just comforted her a bit and totally IGNORED her depression.

Please, please never ignore when someone come and say he/she want to die. Don't risk it. They may be joking, but what if they are serious? If they are serious, the only reason they tell you the thought must be they try to ask you for help. If you ignore, they feel more hopeless.

Just a little bit care about the people around you, our life will be more beautiful.

My favourite sleeping pose

Can't remember how many time I had wonderful dreams on his chest.. Can't remember how long I haven't had good dreams since I have to sleep alone..
When will I find my next one?

Symptom of recovery

There has been no sun shine here in SG since last Saturday. I couldn't go to swim these days since I feel so cold and sometimes it rains. But I managed to make myself for a run tonight.

And yes, it was a run, not a jog for me tonight. I thought I ran for around 40 mins, on a road that goes up and down! Of course I was very slow, but it was a breakthrough to me. I can easily swim for an hour, I can easily play badminton for an hour, but I could never run for even 10 mins.. In fact, I don't even chase a bus!

Why could I manage to do that tonight? I don't know. In fact, I'm surprised for my endurance on keep on exercising these days. When I was running just now, I did think of a reason to explain this.

It's a symptom of my recovery.. though it is 2 years late.

I had 2 'official' relationships before. The first one last for 4+ years, the second one last for 3+ years.

I remembered some time before I broke up with the 1st bf. He brought me to a gym. It was nothing like those Califorina Fitness or Fitness First. It's more like a guy's gym. You can rarely see gals like me there.. all people there were muscular men.. scary.. haha.. And the plan was freakin expensive!! But both of us could afford it coz we were both working at that time and I was still living with my family. We used to go there 2 or 3 times a week together and spent like 3 hours there. We signed up for a 6-mth contract and we broke up before the contract ended.

Maybe I was so used to go out after work but I got nowhere to go by myself right after we broke up, so I went to the gym 3 times a week... doing lots of exercise.. I felt sooooo good when I'm exhausted after 3 hrs of extensive training.

I left my 2nd (i.e. last) bf 2 years and 2 mths ago. (yes, don't think I can remember this.. I just checked my emails to confirm that..) And yes, I chose to leave him, which I always think was the biggest mistake I've ever made. My life since then was in chaos.

2 years after our broke up, I finally find the symptom of recovery.. I start exercising.. I start to be active again. Thank god.. I really thought that my life was going to end like that.

Just now I read through some of the emails between us, I read the one that he replied me when I told him I wanna leave him. He promised he will always be my friend. I guess this is the 2nd promise that he's not going to keep.

He's the person who made me believe in promises, and also the person who made me not believe in promises anymore.

U ask me? There's no such thing as 'promise' in this world.

And how I think of my 2 exs now? well.. 1st ex and I are still good friends and we sometimes go out together when we happen to be at the same country. 2nd ex... I miss him.

How feminine am I?

You Are 80% Feminine, 20% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side. Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you. And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right. But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check. In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it... You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

Are You a Daring Woman?

Men See You As Understated

You are an intreguing mix of girl and woman. You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men. Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you. You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well

How Do Men See You?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!

Generally, you're very happy being a single woman. And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem. Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy. You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!

Do You Need a Man?