I am not ready, I will never be.

I am not ready to get back to the real world.
I am worse than ever before.
I will never be ready, physically and mentally.

I won't be able to survive in this kind of world.
I will find a way to leave.

But what I've learned today,
was to think more for the others.
If someone doesn't want to associate himself with you in front of other friends,
just stay away from that person, leave that person alone.
No matter how hard you try to be friendly, that person would just think the wrong way and do something to hurt you.
Since I really want this person to be happy, I will leave this person alone from now on.

Tonight I cried.
As far as I remember, this is the first time after I came back to Hong Kong.
No, I didn't cry for anyone. I cried for all the things around me. I cried for myself.

I don't know what to do,
but I guess I would have to be alone for a long long while.