My brother Charles

I have some weird behaviours that almost none of my friends can understand. I sometimes tried to explain but I really don't know how to make them understand. All I can say is that those behaviours are caused by my depression, I have limited control to them. When I say limited control, it means that I do try to control them and I'm already doing very good compare to what I was maybe 2 years ago..

There is one person who can always understand my weird behaviours. He is my brother, although he's not my real brother, I really really treat him as a part of my family and I really love him from my heart. I still remembered when first he saw my "behaviours", he didn't fully understand. And in those days, my condition was very bad. But very soon he seems to know exactly how I feel and why I was doing those things. Sometimes I even think that he knows me better than I do.

Even I'm doing good these days, sometimes I still can't help doing those weird things. Usually I will give my brother a call as soon as I can, of course I always try to call him when he's not working. Most of the time, after calling him, I will be able to stop those weird behaviours..

And of course, I also call him to share my happiness and thoughts.... I share everything with him.

But.. dunno why I couldn't find him these days..

And.. today one of my weird behaviours has come out..

He always wants me to be independent.. he always fears that I won't be ok when he's not around.. I guess this time I really have to deal it by myself..

But my dear brother, where are you now? I can deal with my own pain, but I also worry about you, at least let me know you're fine, ok?