Almost settled

There have been lots of uncertainties in my life in the past few months.. my studies, my love, my future.. it keep changing everyday.. I wasn't quite sure where I was heading to.

I'm a bit surprised that I am still fine up to today, providing that I'm all by myself physically in a foreign country. Nevertheless, I did went out with a group of people I never met before yesterday for a trip to an island for photo shooting. If you know me well, this is a great improvement ever since what happened to me two and a half years ago. During these 2.5 years, whenever I encountered serious problems, I would just hide myself. I didn't even go to work, not to say going out to have fun and meet new people.

Of course I wasn't that bad many years ago.. but I was indeed in a very worse condition in recent years.

Anyway.. I have to say that I am really fine now, even with all these troubles with me.

And.. the good news is.. I've almost sorted out all the uncertainties, I pretty much know what to do in the near future. Although some of the choices are not what I wanted, at least I know and I can plan for it.

In the past, when I was upset or lost, I always rely on my close friends, physically. I needed my bf's hugs, I needed my brother's shoulders.. I relied on whatever I could get. But this time, though I had so many troubles coming all together, I didn't have anyone physically besides me. I have to say this was my biggest challenge. Silly me, right? yes, but this is me.

But what can I do? I have no choice now. I have to go on by myself. I have to learn to rely on nobody. I have to learn to rely on myself, which I've been doing for quite a while already.. just that I have to learn to be happy with it. I have to learn to be a happy single woman.

I'm considering staying in Singapore for a few years at least because of a better working and living condition here than Hong Kong. However, according to my observation, I won't be able to find any romantic relationships here, at least I'm not going to do so. So, I guess I will be all by myself for at least a few more years.

What will happen after a few years? I don't know. But I'm tuning myself to get ready for a life of single woman. I never want this but I've to prepare for this and one day I'll be happy for this.

I can do that.

P.S. One of my close friends once said that I'm too dramatic. Yes, I am, and that makes me a good writer. =)