Stilnox

bad news for me...
I've been taking Stilnox since March.
I used to take 10mg every night and able to sleep for at least 4 hours.
I gradually reduce the dose to 5mg and sometimes even 2.5mg and it still worked.
at last I quitted taking it and I had no problem with my sleeping for a short period of time.

now I'm taking it again for some reason..
and I start with 5mg only..
it always works for at least 4 hours..
these days it works even more than that, whenever I took the pill, I will wake up at 5:57am..
yes.. that's an interesting side-effect of Stilnox.. you will wake up at a particular point in time everyday..
but just now I took 5mg at 12:30am.. I went to bed.. and here I'm writing this blog!! it's only 2:30am!!
so.. it only works for 2 hrs now..

I don't wanna keep taking Stilnox anymore.. although it is a new medicine that is not addictive, there are some proved side-effects of it... like people go driving after they took Stilnox and slept.. had sex with strangers... etc.. I know they are taking far more heavier dose than me.. but it is still better for me to be able to sleep on my own.

However, these days I'm so tensed for no reason. Heart beating so quick, breathing also very quick but hard.. I can't relax and sleep. And I also have some problems in my mind that I can't solve it out and I have no one to talk to..well.. I can't tell anyone.. not even on this blog.. sigh.. how can I sleep with all these things??

But if I keep taking Stilnox, I can already tell what my side-effect would be.. cos I got some hints everytime I took it now already.. sigh.. I just cannot let it happen!!

The most important thing is, I won't have enough pills for the rest of the year, which means if I continue to take it, one day I'll need to go back to HK and ask my doctor for more.. which I will need to pay my own ticket and own medicine costs... cos I just cannot tell my family about this...at least not this time...

arhh... how come all these shit come to my life all together??? Just let me graduate in Dec and become a normal person working 9-6pm until I die.. I won't care about anything else... I won't care about happiness, love, dreams.... forget it... just give me peace...