That guy...

Haven't had this feeling for a very very long time.
I still remember the last time I had the same feeling,
was the nite when I saw the conductor performing on the stage in an orchestra.
I was soooooo attracted by him.
I was sooo attracted by a man, just simply because of his physical appearance.
And it was long long time ago.

It happens again these few days.. when I met this guy.
I know nothing about him of course.. at least up till now.
But I've already met him three times at different places in the Faculty.

First time, I was studying in the library.
I was very tired that day, as usual.. leaning myself on the table while using my laptop.. almost fell asleep..
I noticed him walked by the corridor.. not becoz of his appearance at the first sight..
just becoz he was holding a huge camera.. with a very long lens..
I also take photos.. so I start wondering.. what will be his "target" today..
but then I felt that he noticed me.. I think it's becoz i was the laziest ppl in the library..
all others were very energetic about their work..
I knew exactly what he's going to do.. as a photographer..
he walked away for a little while..
then came back as if there was nothing happened..
I was quite cooperative actually.. I kept myself staring at my laptop... kept my position..
and I heard the sound.. he took a few shots of me..
hahaa.. he's not a very good one though.. his camera is too noisy... that even he was standing quite far away.. i could still hear very clearly..
after a few shots.. I couldn't stand anymore.. I turned my head to him..
as if I just noticed him (hahaha).. and of coz.. i knew that... he quickly walked away...

but just that second when I looked at him.. I was a bit shocked..
I was really attracted by his appearance... his outlook, his style, even the way he hold his camera... just perfect..
I just wish that I had my camera with me so that maybe we could have something to talk.. hahaha...

OK.. a few days later... I met him the second time.. not in the library anymore..
I was sitting in one of the benches in the Faculty using my laptop (again!)... waiting for my friends..
and then I saw him walked by.. with his camera (again!)
I'm sure he saw me.. why? coz I know.. when a photographer carrying his camera, he will just look at everything around him..
so.. it's not "me" that make him look at me.. just becoz I was around.. (if u understand what i'm saying)
he walked pass my bench and disappeared within 5 seconds.. he is soo tall so he walks very fast...
but after a few minutes.. he appeared again~
I was quite happy to see him again..
Although I'm not going to introduce myself to him.. seeing such a good-looking guy could just make my day a lot better!

Lucky me.. I met him AGAIN on the next day..
he didn't see me this time.. coz he was very far away from me..
this time, I was just talking with my friends outside the library
and I happened to see him in an office opposite the library..
hmm.. i think... there's where he works..
coz he doesn't look like an undergrad at all..
at that time.. i've a weird idea..
one day.. i'm going to take a picture of him.. coz he took mine already~~
hahaa


By the way..
I feel so crazy about myself being attracted by a total stranger after all these years..
I mean.. well...
this is not love.. i know..
i'm not going to love anyone anymore.. and I won't let anyone to love me as well.. at least at this moment..
coz.. I can't trust anyone.. and I don't trust love..

the only love I trust.. is the love from my two cute cute cats..
they still love me so much even I leave them alone and go for studying for 2 and a half years
they are still waiting for me..
during CNY, I went back to HK.. I stayed with them most of the time..
I can feel their love... this is something that no one on earth can give me...

But to be honest.. as a woman..
I do long for hugs.. lots of hugs..
I mean being hugged..
that's why I like big guys..
my friends said my ex is not big enough for me.. they said my 1st bf was better..
but he did give me lots of good hugs that made me feel safe..
well... these things... all past already... didn't they?
I do sounds like a kid sometimes..
anyway...

one other thing...
anyone know how to kill headache except for panadol or any medicine?
I dunno why recently I have headache like almost everyday which is very annoying..