I need a hug

I am hunger for a big hug now.. as I always do..

I'm always lack of hugs..
always..
maybe since I was born..
my mom said I always cried at night and everyone had to hold me in turns throughout whole nite..
everyone being mom, dad and my grandma.. and I think sometimes even my grandpa..

being a Chinese.. as u grow up.. u got less and less hugs.. except from your lovers.. (who not yet marry with u!!)
so.. I was always lack of hugs!!

the most satisfied time was the time I was in the hotel school.. where I got heaps of hugs from many friends everyday!!
I was so happy!!
especially I am sooo tiny compared to those giant guys.. and they always so generous in giving me hugs..

but after that time.. I'm suffered from lacking of hugs again~~

I used to forced my ex-bf to give me hugs every nite..
Actually our relationship started with a long hug - a overnite hug that made our waists sore
we used to love hugging each other.. but.. he's probably hugging her right now.

anyway...
I was looking forward to get more hugs when I return to Australia the 2nd time..
however.. things were different..

I was fine until these days..
My dreams were full of hugs with friends and guys..
and a guy I used to love very much years ago suddently came to my dreams almost every nite..
so strange!! I've not seen him for so many years~
and especially today..
I was alone at home..
woke up with dream about him and some other things..
later on tonite found out that our team didn't do so well in Markstrat..
and watched the film ..
all these things... made me cried finally..

well.. I wish somebody could give me a hug..